Best thing I never had
The first time Beyoncé’s Best Thing I Never Had sailed through my speakers and registered in my mind, I had an unexpected amen moment right there.
The girl has always had the ability to drop gems that have turned into girl power anthems. Remember her hit song Irreplaceable? This was a song that not only empowered women, but was also a wake-up call for men, telling them that they are dispensable. After listening to the song, women everywhere found the guts to make some tough decisions. I don’t know how she does it, but Beyoncé always gives me timely perspective on my relationships.
Best Thing I Never Had took me to the ugly, dark place I was stuck in two years ago when I was broken, crying and angry with a man I loved for walking away from me. We had broken up at a time when I thought we shouldn’t have.
We’ve all heard it happen a million times. You’re dating a guy, weaving your life around his, day dreaming about a future together, the home and children you’ll share, when suddenly from nowhere, he pulls the rug from underneath your feet, leaving you and your dreams in a tumbled heap on the floor.
How many times have you had to console friends whose boyfriends broke up with them and then got engaged to someone else three months later? I can’t tell you how many times I have held the hand of a friend as she wailed over the loss of another broken relationship, or how many times I have put my heart back together again after a guy smashed it into pieces.
Truth be told, relationships are not easy but we would all like to hang on to them regardless. Even when times are tough, no one is ever willing to let go; we are so delusional about love and the happy-ever-after that we are willing to put up with anything to be coupled up.
It was after I listened to this song that I realised that breaking up was probably the best thing to do. Every woman eventually gets to a point where a bad relationship starts to get old and at that point you realise you are better off alone. This realisation may take a while to register, but as someone who has been there trust me when I say this - your life will be so much better without him. .
My ‘a-ha!’ moment may have taken longer than it should’ve to arrive but it finally did. Now, when I look back, I’m thankful things did not work out for us. So when Beyoncé sings, “thank God he blew it and thank God I dodged a bullet” it makes me feel like throwing my hands up and getting my praise on. I would be a miserable wreck if I had married any one of my exes. I am finally admitting to myself that I knew they were not good for me, even when I was with them. There were red flags everywhere but because I was so determined to stay in the relationships, I ignored them.
For instance, I knew that one of my exes was more concerned about his family than he was about me, and yet I stayed with him. I also knew that the wandering eyes of another ex were a symptom of something more sinister, but yet again I ignored it and pretended that I could somehow ‘manage’ the situation and cajole him into marriage. So when these relationships ended, I really should have counted myself lucky but I spent months crying. I was not smart enough to realise that any man who could put me under that amount of stress would do much worse later.
It annoys me to see good women crying, beating themselves up over failed relationships with men who never appreciated their true value to begin with. Heartbreak sucks, but honestly, when you take time to look back and reflect on a failed relationship, amidst the tears you realise that you deserve better.
I agree that these things are easier said than done, but sometimes, all we need is a bit of self-confidence and self-development to see our real worth. So instead of sitting down and moaning over your exes realise that he may have actually done you a favour, leaving you free to meet someone truly deserving of the amazing woman you are
The girl has always had the ability to drop gems that have turned into girl power anthems. Remember her hit song Irreplaceable? This was a song that not only empowered women, but was also a wake-up call for men, telling them that they are dispensable. After listening to the song, women everywhere found the guts to make some tough decisions. I don’t know how she does it, but Beyoncé always gives me timely perspective on my relationships.
Best Thing I Never Had took me to the ugly, dark place I was stuck in two years ago when I was broken, crying and angry with a man I loved for walking away from me. We had broken up at a time when I thought we shouldn’t have.
We’ve all heard it happen a million times. You’re dating a guy, weaving your life around his, day dreaming about a future together, the home and children you’ll share, when suddenly from nowhere, he pulls the rug from underneath your feet, leaving you and your dreams in a tumbled heap on the floor.
How many times have you had to console friends whose boyfriends broke up with them and then got engaged to someone else three months later? I can’t tell you how many times I have held the hand of a friend as she wailed over the loss of another broken relationship, or how many times I have put my heart back together again after a guy smashed it into pieces.
Truth be told, relationships are not easy but we would all like to hang on to them regardless. Even when times are tough, no one is ever willing to let go; we are so delusional about love and the happy-ever-after that we are willing to put up with anything to be coupled up.
It was after I listened to this song that I realised that breaking up was probably the best thing to do. Every woman eventually gets to a point where a bad relationship starts to get old and at that point you realise you are better off alone. This realisation may take a while to register, but as someone who has been there trust me when I say this - your life will be so much better without him. .
My ‘a-ha!’ moment may have taken longer than it should’ve to arrive but it finally did. Now, when I look back, I’m thankful things did not work out for us. So when Beyoncé sings, “thank God he blew it and thank God I dodged a bullet” it makes me feel like throwing my hands up and getting my praise on. I would be a miserable wreck if I had married any one of my exes. I am finally admitting to myself that I knew they were not good for me, even when I was with them. There were red flags everywhere but because I was so determined to stay in the relationships, I ignored them.
For instance, I knew that one of my exes was more concerned about his family than he was about me, and yet I stayed with him. I also knew that the wandering eyes of another ex were a symptom of something more sinister, but yet again I ignored it and pretended that I could somehow ‘manage’ the situation and cajole him into marriage. So when these relationships ended, I really should have counted myself lucky but I spent months crying. I was not smart enough to realise that any man who could put me under that amount of stress would do much worse later.
It annoys me to see good women crying, beating themselves up over failed relationships with men who never appreciated their true value to begin with. Heartbreak sucks, but honestly, when you take time to look back and reflect on a failed relationship, amidst the tears you realise that you deserve better.
I agree that these things are easier said than done, but sometimes, all we need is a bit of self-confidence and self-development to see our real worth. So instead of sitting down and moaning over your exes realise that he may have actually done you a favour, leaving you free to meet someone truly deserving of the amazing woman you are
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