Upgrade a guy
My pal has been dating this guy for a couple of months now and has been talking no stop about the guy and how happy she is. I was definitely very eager to meet the guy that was making my pal go crazy unfortunately she was a bit secretive with him; apart from his name, we knew nothing else. Unfortunately her secretive behaviors was only piqued our interest and made us very curious about the guy. We were so eager to meet the guy that we invaded her house when he was there.
I know she is going to hate me for this but I hope she will take me seriously after reading this.The guy was handsome and all but truth be told he was definitely not her type and you will see why when I explain. My pal, let’s call her Sara- is a marketing executive at a leading company in town, she was educated in the top schools in the country and abroad and is very cultured . I don’t mean to be rude but this new boyfriend is complete opposite of her. He owns a mechanic shop (where the two met) hasn’t been to Uni and all , in short he is a very average John if you know what I mean.
I know love knows no tribe, race, class, color or any other disparities among two people but the fact that these two are together is a miracle. I have known Sara for a while and I knew she was struggling to keep up with guy, whatever was keeping her with that guy is still a mystery to me. When I confronted her about it, she came clean saying giving me some ridiculous story about the guy having potential and how he is going to transform the guy. She was helping him with the shop, changing his dressing and hang-out places. Her situation reminded me so much about Beyonces song, “let me upgrade you”. The lyrics go something like this:
Partner let me upgrade you
Audemars Piguet you
Switch your neck ties to purple labels
Upgrade you
Introduce you to some new things &
Upgrade you
I can (up),
Can I (up), let me
Upgrade you
Dont be fooled though Beyonce was not upgrading anyone when she sang that song, she married the most powerful man in hip-hop. Like my pal you may argue that it’s worth it to take a chance on a guy with potential. Michelle Obama took a chance on Barack who was fresh out of law school while she was already an associate at the firm. Let’s not forget that Barack HAD a law degree from Harvard, morals and ambition, he was not a class 7 dropout working at the barber shop.
It is one thing to date a guy with potential as long as the guy brings something to work with like a degreed intellect or ambition. It is quite another to date “potential” if you are an Account Executive at a company dating a drunk working at the local grocery store who has no goals past surviving the day.
Of course dating is about love –which knows no boundaries- but I also believe compatibility is the building block of any relationship. If your man is not compatible with you on basic levels like values, class, intelligence or common interests, the relationship won’t last. There will be no need to upgrade a guy if you are compatible; it will be a futile attempt.
The problem with upgrading a man is that it’s never worth it, you rarely see a return on your investment. And what happens when the two of you break up? All the women he dates from henceforth will reap the rewards of the new man you create. I know a handful of women that have made projects out of men they invest time and money to fix him up but in the end he walked away or cheated on them. Have you not heard of the famous saying; you can take a villager out the village, but u can’t take the village out of a villager: it’s not a myth.
I know she is going to hate me for this but I hope she will take me seriously after reading this.The guy was handsome and all but truth be told he was definitely not her type and you will see why when I explain. My pal, let’s call her Sara- is a marketing executive at a leading company in town, she was educated in the top schools in the country and abroad and is very cultured . I don’t mean to be rude but this new boyfriend is complete opposite of her. He owns a mechanic shop (where the two met) hasn’t been to Uni and all , in short he is a very average John if you know what I mean.
I know love knows no tribe, race, class, color or any other disparities among two people but the fact that these two are together is a miracle. I have known Sara for a while and I knew she was struggling to keep up with guy, whatever was keeping her with that guy is still a mystery to me. When I confronted her about it, she came clean saying giving me some ridiculous story about the guy having potential and how he is going to transform the guy. She was helping him with the shop, changing his dressing and hang-out places. Her situation reminded me so much about Beyonces song, “let me upgrade you”. The lyrics go something like this:
Partner let me upgrade you
Audemars Piguet you
Switch your neck ties to purple labels
Upgrade you
Introduce you to some new things &
Upgrade you
I can (up),
Can I (up), let me
Upgrade you
Dont be fooled though Beyonce was not upgrading anyone when she sang that song, she married the most powerful man in hip-hop. Like my pal you may argue that it’s worth it to take a chance on a guy with potential. Michelle Obama took a chance on Barack who was fresh out of law school while she was already an associate at the firm. Let’s not forget that Barack HAD a law degree from Harvard, morals and ambition, he was not a class 7 dropout working at the barber shop.
It is one thing to date a guy with potential as long as the guy brings something to work with like a degreed intellect or ambition. It is quite another to date “potential” if you are an Account Executive at a company dating a drunk working at the local grocery store who has no goals past surviving the day.
Of course dating is about love –which knows no boundaries- but I also believe compatibility is the building block of any relationship. If your man is not compatible with you on basic levels like values, class, intelligence or common interests, the relationship won’t last. There will be no need to upgrade a guy if you are compatible; it will be a futile attempt.
The problem with upgrading a man is that it’s never worth it, you rarely see a return on your investment. And what happens when the two of you break up? All the women he dates from henceforth will reap the rewards of the new man you create. I know a handful of women that have made projects out of men they invest time and money to fix him up but in the end he walked away or cheated on them. Have you not heard of the famous saying; you can take a villager out the village, but u can’t take the village out of a villager: it’s not a myth.
I personally don’t believe in changing men thus upgrading them is not my style and anyway we all know that not all men are as far up on the scale of potential as Obama was. Maybe the song was misunderstood, there is more to “Upgrading” than just material; exposing the guy to new foods, places, new books to read, and being more cultured .The upgrade should come from your guidance, wisdom, and encouragement to go further than society expects of him or pushing him out of his comfort zone not “spending” your money to upgrade him. I agree sometimes a guy may need a little makeover; some clothes, a shave, and a haircut but financing his business, paying his rent or giving him money should be done at your own risk.
Spending money on a man to upgrade his status in life sounds like an unfulfilling job. For the ladies upgrading brothers, don’t be offended and sour when the relationship goes bad. Nobody told you to turn Steve Urkel into Stefan, now all the ladies are looking at him like never before. He is bound to grow a big head and want to spread some of that swagger around. Investing in someone with “potential” upsets the scales of the relationship which is not healthy, I’m not looking for a DIY project in a man. Why not just date the men you ideally want right off the jump? 
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