A man with no friends, is not worth your time
If there is one thing that I am certain about, is that majority of women do not like their men’s friends. They may play pretty when around them, but inside they do not like them. Sadly, if you really love a man, you have to learn how to get along with his friends.I think, in most cases, it is because men are not good at balancing between friends and their women.
I know women who like their men to live and breathe for them. They force them to abandon their friends.
Sadly, men do not like this. They feel like you are being too clingy or a nag and this has been a constant cause of conflict among couples.
So, what would make another woman complain about a man who makes her the center of his universe? I thought she would be the happiest woman on earth.
“My boyfriend is a loner,” complained my pal Deana, “We have been dating for a year now and I can tell you for a fact that he has no friends. He always wants to hang out with me. I thought it was cute and I enjoyed the attention," she says.
Sounds great, so what's the problem? “He calls me a million times a day, texts every second, and gets angry when I have a girls’ night. He says I’m his best friend. Now I can’t stand it anymore,” she says.
Does it matter?
“Now it does," says Deanna. “I want to have a life outside the relationship. It's tough that I’m social and he doesn't have any friends,” she says.
Being not a relationship expert, I hate giving relationship advice for fear of screwing things up, but to this one, I knew I had to respond.
Deanna’s situation reminded me of the comedy movie ‘I love you man.’ Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd), plays "that guy" who has no friends because he's always in a relationship. Peter has never really had a problem not having friends, until his fiancée Zoë (Rashida Jones) discovers that he has no close male friend to serve as his Best Man.
Peter immediately sets out and embarks on a series of bizarre and awkward "man-dates," before meeting Sydney Fife (Jason Segel), an offbeat, opinionated guy with whom he instantly bonds with. But the closer the two get, the more Peter's relationship with Zoë suffers, ultimately forcing him to choose between his fiancée and his new found "bromance", in a story that comically explores what it truly means to be a "friend."
"I Love You, Man," taught me one important thing, dating a guy with no friends is not the best thing, most likely, it won't end well and I was quick to point this out to Deanna.
In most cases, a guy with no friends means he will become a leech and have no life outside the relationship. He is dependant on you for love and affection. Sure, we all like being loved and having a man to ourselves, but what if the relationship ends? Such are guys who stalk you for long and guilt you into getting back with them.
I even read a book called ‘The Ideal Husband’ where the author, a priest who has specialised in marriage counselling advices women, to never marry a man with no friends. According to him, the man cannot be trusted with the relationship as they will be incapable of intimacy in the relationship. I thought he was being harsh but now that I think about it, he was right.
A man with no friends is a red flag. Why can’t he connect to people? He is either a control freak or something off about how he maintains and nurtures relationships.
If a guy has no friends, I hope he at least has a hobby because spending too much time together might be bad for the relationship.
So guys, if you have lost your friends along the way, then man up and get them back.
Or make some new ones! You always need your friends. And no, your significant other doesn't count! You always need someone else to talk to, someone else to lean on, someone to be there for you in case of a break up. That's what friends are for.
chaxtine@yahoo.com
I know women who like their men to live and breathe for them. They force them to abandon their friends.
Sadly, men do not like this. They feel like you are being too clingy or a nag and this has been a constant cause of conflict among couples.
So, what would make another woman complain about a man who makes her the center of his universe? I thought she would be the happiest woman on earth.
“My boyfriend is a loner,” complained my pal Deana, “We have been dating for a year now and I can tell you for a fact that he has no friends. He always wants to hang out with me. I thought it was cute and I enjoyed the attention," she says.
Sounds great, so what's the problem? “He calls me a million times a day, texts every second, and gets angry when I have a girls’ night. He says I’m his best friend. Now I can’t stand it anymore,” she says.
Does it matter?
“Now it does," says Deanna. “I want to have a life outside the relationship. It's tough that I’m social and he doesn't have any friends,” she says.
Being not a relationship expert, I hate giving relationship advice for fear of screwing things up, but to this one, I knew I had to respond.
Deanna’s situation reminded me of the comedy movie ‘I love you man.’ Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd), plays "that guy" who has no friends because he's always in a relationship. Peter has never really had a problem not having friends, until his fiancée Zoë (Rashida Jones) discovers that he has no close male friend to serve as his Best Man.
Peter immediately sets out and embarks on a series of bizarre and awkward "man-dates," before meeting Sydney Fife (Jason Segel), an offbeat, opinionated guy with whom he instantly bonds with. But the closer the two get, the more Peter's relationship with Zoë suffers, ultimately forcing him to choose between his fiancée and his new found "bromance", in a story that comically explores what it truly means to be a "friend."
"I Love You, Man," taught me one important thing, dating a guy with no friends is not the best thing, most likely, it won't end well and I was quick to point this out to Deanna.
In most cases, a guy with no friends means he will become a leech and have no life outside the relationship. He is dependant on you for love and affection. Sure, we all like being loved and having a man to ourselves, but what if the relationship ends? Such are guys who stalk you for long and guilt you into getting back with them.
I even read a book called ‘The Ideal Husband’ where the author, a priest who has specialised in marriage counselling advices women, to never marry a man with no friends. According to him, the man cannot be trusted with the relationship as they will be incapable of intimacy in the relationship. I thought he was being harsh but now that I think about it, he was right.
A man with no friends is a red flag. Why can’t he connect to people? He is either a control freak or something off about how he maintains and nurtures relationships.
If a guy has no friends, I hope he at least has a hobby because spending too much time together might be bad for the relationship.
So guys, if you have lost your friends along the way, then man up and get them back.
Or make some new ones! You always need your friends. And no, your significant other doesn't count! You always need someone else to talk to, someone else to lean on, someone to be there for you in case of a break up. That's what friends are for.
chaxtine@yahoo.com
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