The C World...

By Christine Chacha A friend once told me that every woman, whether married, single or divorced needs four types of men to successfully live. She believes each one of us needs the father of your babies, the financier, the office husband and the guy who makes you feel like you are on top of the world. I couldn’t agree with her more because women, unlike men, are not jack of all trade-although some try- so we do need help sometimes. It doesn’t mean we are weak, though it just means we need a man to sort some things in life. With this in mind, here is a list of men that every woman needs in her life, not necessarily for sex but those that she cannot do without, they make your life easier. The platonic male friend: This is a guy who has been with you through the rough tides and the calm seas. He could be a childhood friend, a guy from school, a relative, a neighbour or a guy who knows you too well. Every woman should have one. I have one-my pal Davie, and he has taught me everyth...

By Christine Chacha One of the things that am thankful for this year is the fact that Valentine’s day fall on a Sunday. Not everyone spends their Valentine’s Day drinking red wine, enjoying the fragrance of roses or getting passionate embraces and opening heartfelt gifts. Despite the fact that I love valentines and it’s a woman’s festival, it can be very depressing when you have no one to pamper you and make you feel special.   I knew an office where valentines were such a big deal; flowers were delivered in the office, chocolates and all. The pressure to indulge in the lovers day was so much especially on the singles in the office; Some went as far as sending themselves flowers and had them delivered to the office so they don’t feel left out. The singles were always busy looking for dates for valentines. It became so bad that the management decided to start sending roses to every female on valentines. Well such are the down side of Valentine’s.If you are alone without a l over or...

By Christine Chacha For ages now men, have been unable to understand female friendships and i do not blame them. Women have been known to have a group of other women who form her circle of friends referred to as her girls. Then there is the one woman who she probably grew up with, studied with or who they have a history with. This woman is probably her diary, whom she shares a lot with. She is the best friend or BFF (Best friend for life )as she is famously known today. My boss and I cannot seem to agree on one simple thing, how much should one tell their best friend of BFF. Although she is a woman every time I bring the topic up she goes up in arms saying there is nothing like a best friend with whom you can share everything and by everything I mean every teeny weeny detail .   One specifc area that we cannot agree upon is revealing stuff about men and intimate details about maybe our sex lives. Some prefer to keep this topic off discussion which is okay but other choose...

By Christine chacha Today I found myself talking about an uncomfortable topic that I am always keen on avoiding . “Would you take back you ex? Or would you be friends with him?” a friend asked me. These questions opened wounds than have long been buried and I found myself bitter and angry again, hating my ex all over again for what he did to me. I wish I could get rid of the pain that I feel or at least get back at him somehow.   Unlike other people who break up, heal, befriend and still crave for their ex, there is a whole lot of us who experienced a ugly break ups that memories of our exes strike all the wrong nerves.   “I wouldn’t take him back, wouldn’t love to meet him or even think about him,” I answered .She was not shocked at my answer and went on to tell me that most people feel hatred for their exes because they bottle up their hatred and pain instead of doing something about it. Most people advice you to let go or forgive and forget but...

By Christine Chacha     I bet you already know about the alleged Russian spy ring in the US.  Maybe, it’s old inforn now, but it got me thinking about a different kind of spying; spying in relationships. Facebook accounts are being checked, names and passwords are being stolen and texts messages are being intercepted by partners. But the question is: Is spying on our significant ever OK? I know you will probably cringe at what I am about to say, but I have infor to support the fact that  spying on your partner is actually harmless. Morally, it is wrong, but there are some special cases in relationships that call for a bit of Sherlock Holmes.Every woman does it at one point of her life so dont point fingers at me,  you have probably done it already or you will; It’s an inherent trait. Call it immature and lack of trust, but doing it on your partner, especially in the early stages of a relationship, can give you a clear direction on where it’s heading. ...

By Christine Chacha What would you do if you came home one day and found a note from your boyfriend stuck on your door that reads, “ Hi   this is not working, I know it and you know it so I quit and moved out, goodbye ” , to add salt to the injury he adds   “ NB: I took the dog, he does not like you?” . Looks unimaginable and unreal, well it actually happened to one woman named Brenda. The boyfriend had moved in with her and everything was bliss until she came home to this note, I can not imagine her reaction when she read it, I hope she was   alone. I have heard of break ups gone sour but this tops the list; I would call it the breakup of the century it even beats the much publicized “worst Facebook break up”. I was with my friend and this note dumping came up and I found myself at the center of a heated discussion about break ups with my friends. One thing that emerged from the discussion is a fear of the demise of a relationship, specifically, the unexpected, unw...

By Christine Chacha. As a woman, you will find yourself answering SOS calls from your friends so many times, you cannot keep track. Some as trivial as   “I don’t know what to wear for my date tomorrow” or as serious as “I am in love with a married man”. Somehow we all get through those moments thanks to the support of our friends. But sometimes you have no idea what to tell a friend when they are doing something that you feel is not right. It started out innocently enough, Ben and Ann were colleagues at work, they were in the same department and sat close to each other. What started out as a hello in the corridors and simple smile on the streets soon turned into something more sinister. They are spotted everywhere together, share silent talks, IM each other in the office and laugh at each other jokes. When Ben’s mother passed, Ann was the first to know and she was there to comfort him and help him get through that. Similarly when was in a financial crisis, Ben was the first to k...

By Christine Chacha This article is dedicated to my pal Davie who had a real bad encounter with the female specie last week. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned , if you doubt this ask Davie, what happened to him is a case of women gone psycho. Women are assumed to be lovable, innocent and naïve. If a relationship goes wrong most people are quick to point an accusing finger at the man .Like the rest of you , I saw no fault in women,  after all aren’t men always the cheaters and the liars? But Davie's case opened my eyes to a new breed of women who are just as terrible as the men. Men and women are both seduced by one feature of their mate. It could be their looks, their money, intelligence or the big L-word, “love.” Whatever it is, they both enter into a relationship with a hope of coping with each others differences. There are some women who exude dangerous traits; they enter relationships with bad intent. They will suck a man dry and drive him to the brink ...

By Christine Chacha It started with Jacob Zuma's wife now it is king Mswatis wife, it seems like cheating is becoming the trend among the First ladies. While the world calls 20 year old Queen Nonthando Dube a whore for cheating on King Mswati with his friend, I think there is more than meets the eye on the issue. There are so many ironies that manifest themselves in the whole saga that we can not ignore. First this is not the first queen to disgrace the royal family amidst infidelity rumors. In 2004 two other queens fled the palace and have all confessed to cheating due to getting sexually starved for over six months. Is this fair to the women?. Now this time his close pal and even a minister in his cabinet, Justice minister Ndumiso Mamba was caught pants down in a luxurious hotel owned by King Mswati doing the King's wife....-did i mention is not the first time the King is facing the same beef? What are these women saying? Perhaps tha these men aren’t the tigers in bed or are ...

By Christine chacha Being in love is the most amazing thing that can happen to anyone. And according to others, if you have not experienced true love then you have not lived. love is the epitome of life, it’s what we strive at besides success and money. Anyway, I was at the supermarket with my mother the other day  and I spotted a couple of lovebirds in front of us getting cozy. I could not help but admire the way they looked at each other and thought, “ isn’t love beautiful?” Things were going on just well until one of them started stroking the other in a way deemed inappropriate for public display. The woman wrapped her arms around her man’s neck, and the man started kissing her. It wasn’t a quick mouth kiss, but a long one. I knew it was rude to stare, but what would you expect of me? it was no longer private since it was being done in a public place, right? We were behind them in the queue and mother dear could not take any more of their public display of affe...

By Christine Chacha An adage known to all of us is that when in a relationship, money matters are sacrilege; hardly talked about and best left alone.   This is because finances have been hailed as the number 3 cause of break ups in relationships; when it comes to money not even love can prevail. A couple is often happy until finances do them apart. It is no wonder there are so many secret accounts among married couples; Money can’t buy you love, but it sure can bring lots of problems and even tear it apart. This has been reinforced by a study by Cornell University shedding light on the whole infidelity issue. According to the research, in long-term relationship -marriage or cohabitation-, income difference between the couple increases the likelihood of infidelity.   This was not lost even to our fore-mothers (no pun intended) they had to deal with their cheating husbands because they were financially dependent on them. If they complained or tried to run back to their home...

Not everyone you go out with is good for marriage. Here are men that you should never consider for keeps. Christine Chacha elaborates.   You must have heard of a couple’s marriage that broke when the flowers were still fresh. The explanation often centre on “He has changed. He is just not the same guy I married.” My buddy says that some relationships are meant to last. So what are the telltale signs of men you shouldn’t ever consider for the marital bed? Andrew, the achiever He is the man your mum always wanted you to marry. He is responsible, attractive, successful and definitely   intelligent. His problem is that, he is married either to his career, sport, hobby or even some family responsibilities. The global grandeur of his more time-consuming passions is like a mistress that scorns at you. When he is at work he totally forgets about you. Your love for each other is a grain of sand compared to his commitments. How to date him: Observe his focus and where he places...

By Christine chacha Yesterday while listening to my favorite show on Choice FM radio I learned a thing or two about relationships that   I would like to explore for your own mis-education (lol). This year we all made resolutions and as I found out from my friends, as usual all our resolutions centered on men and making better choices in the dating world and better ways to deal with men. It is very sad actually that every year we talk about men and brainstorm on how we are going to do things differently the coming year only to end up making the same mistakes. Back to the radio show apparently there is this woman who is the worlds most expensive matchmaker.   Her rates are quite high so she only works with high profile people .Her programme includes everything from counseling to redecoration (yeah you need a makeover to attract). Yeah I know you are probably thinking yeah right but imagine if someone could make a fortune out of helping   guys meet the women of their dr...

By Christine Chacha I've heard a lot of guys refer to the girls they are dating in so many ways but none has ever struck a raw nerve as one I heard over the week. I actually don’t know whether to be sad or just angry. Have you ever wondered why men rarely marry the women they date for year?   You date a guy all the way through campus, see him through the roughest times of his life and stick with him when the world is against him then he suddenly dumps you only to marry a bimbo he just met 3 months ago? As disturbing as it sounds we all agree that most cases men never marry the women they date and if they do, the marriage is never a smooth ride. I set out to find out why this is the case and the answers I got from the men I asked shocked rather than enlighten me. Apparently men place all the girls they date in 3 categories which determine her future in their life. For every man, there is the girl to marry, the girl to date and the girl to sleep with. While we all desire to be in the...

By Christine Chacha An article I was reading the other day almost made me explode with fury.The article, written by a powerful attorney was an advice directed at male bosses and corporate men. It warned them against warming up to beautiful women in the office calling them dangerous office piranha. For those not in the know , a piranha is a man-eating South American fish used here to describe women who use the office to snap up a high-flying colleague, whether he is married or not. According to her these women, align themselves only to powerful men, only go after “high earning, high-flying, high-virility men" to put a ring on them. Apparently these women join companies with large male employers with the sole intention of looking for partners mostly eyeing the business owners. These women will hang for the kill and will rip any man to shreds. If they do not feign pregnancy after a drunken office party, they will seduce the men to worship the ground she walk on and before long a r...