Too much Infor (TMI)

By Christine Chacha

For ages now men, have been unable to understand female friendships and i do not blame them. Women have been known to have a group of other women who form her circle of friends referred to as her girls. Then there is the one woman who she probably grew up with, studied with or who they have a history with. This woman is probably her diary, whom she shares a lot with. She is the best friend or BFF (Best friend for life )as she is famously known today.

My boss and I cannot seem to agree on one simple thing, how much should one tell their best friend of BFF. Although she is a woman every time I bring the topic up she goes up in arms saying there is nothing like a best friend with whom you can share everything and by everything I mean every teeny weeny detail . 

One specifc area that we cannot agree upon is revealing stuff about men and intimate details about maybe our sex lives. Some prefer to keep this topic off discussion which is okay but other choose to discuss it. This notion of choosing not to tell everything to your girl because she will use it against you is just not right and de-cries teh whole point of a BFF. If your friend is a real friend then that would NEVER be the case. I believe what you talk about with your friends depends on the level of friendship that you are in. You cannot go talking about your sex life to every Jane, Lucy and Mary just because they shared something with you and you are friends.

Sure I have heard numerous stories of women who have been backstabbed by their friends or so called BFF, lost their jobs, their men taken due to revealing stuff too much information about themselves. The assumption that bearing all to our girlfriends is somehow “dangerous” perpetuates the stereotype that women are generally jealous scheming backstabbers who cannot trust each other, when it comes to men and sex .This has created a sort of its 'every sister for herself world' that i dont like . And that is simply not the case, most women are not like that.

I have a best friend since primary school that knows everything about me and I tell everything to. Because, A, she is my partner in crime so…. no secrets . B,  my best friend and I are very close and have a special relationship (as all TRUE best friends should). C, we learn from each other and teach each other alot, D, we inspire each other, E, we guide each other, F, and we help each other and the list goes on . True there may be some things that I don’t always tell her immediately but at some point I will, because discussing the issues with her helps me gain clarity or she will figure it out herself and make me tell.

In most cases women are just looking for a place to vent which is why discussing intimate issues about our lives is okay; it’s a natural thing. Women by nature are talkative species, unlike the men. When a woman is happy or in problems, she will call her friends and talk about it. Talking may not necessarily result in problem solving but she will feel better after the chit chat. Over-analyzing, and seeking the advice of a friend is one way of discussing a topic with someone who knows us well enough that we don’t have to explain every minor detail for them to get the picture.

You will probably cite example of women who have been betrayed by their BFFs.I can’t deny that such things do happen and it’s so unfortunate. But i have also seen best friends who are so faithful  therefore i have reasons to believe sharing intimate details of your life with a bestfriend is okay.

First of all if a woman wants to talk about intimate details of her life  it’s because she has something nagging her,  not because she has no privacy. Contrary to common beliefs some things aren’t best left to the imagination. If you are having troubles pleasing your man or he is cheating and you are losing sleep over it, you will want to discuss it. Maybe there’s a technique your BFF knows that you don’t.

Similarly, if my girlfriend had such an amazing lovemaking experience, I’d want to know even if I wasn’t in a relationship. Not because I’m nosy, but because as a single woman, I’d want to remain hopeful about my own love life. And what kind of friend would I be if I started divulging such information to others?

Women find it refreshing to have another woman’s opinion or have a perspective explained. We dish about our financial woes, relationships with our mothers, shopping deals, and more. Why should sex be off the table? There are some people who over-share, but that’s a matter of knowing your audience. It’s not a matter of you not wanting your BFF to become so full of lust that she decides to seduce your man. I hope yu get my drift.......

 chaxtine@yahoo.com