Dumped!!

By Christine Chacha

What would you do if you came home one day and found a note from your boyfriend stuck on your door that reads,“ Hi  this is not working, I know it and you know it so I quit and moved out, goodbye ” , to add salt to the injury he adds  “NB: I took the dog, he does not like you?” . Looks unimaginable and unreal, well it actually happened to one woman named Brenda.

The boyfriend had moved in with her and everything was bliss until she came home to this note, I can not imagine her reaction when she read it, I hope she was  alone. I have heard of break ups gone sour but this tops the list; I would call it the breakup of the century it even beats the much publicized “worst Facebook break up”.

I was with my friend and this note dumping came up and I found myself at the center of a heated discussion about break ups with my friends. One thing that emerged from the discussion is a fear of the demise of a relationship, specifically, the unexpected, unwanted, one-sided break-up otherwise known as the dumping. I can tell you without a doubt that no one ever wants to be dumped, its every woman’s fear.

I was up in arms about the injustice of the note on the door until they began sharing their breakup stories and you will never believe the things that men do when it comes to breaking it off. Some have had their exes do a disappearing act on them, you know those times that you think your relationship is going great, possibly heading for the altar, the guy just stops returning your phone calls and texts, and just goes MIA.

I was surprised to hear of dudes who called it quits via Facebook, emails, text messages or worse still using a third party . The fact is, although they somehow got the reputation of being the stronger sex, men tend to be cowards and insensitive when it comes down to ending relationships.

So my question is how would you rather a dude break up with you? Is there an easy way of being dumped without causing pain? Would you rather he calls you up or Is it easier if he asks you out , buys you flowers and tells you it’s over a candle lit dinner?

From what I gather the medium in which a break up is done can determine whether it will be more painful or hurt less. To some a break up in person is easier than one done on phone or using a third party. We all agree that no break up is worse than the other because it hurts all the same but maybe they do have a point.

A friend revealed to me that she would rather a dude dumps her via text because there is no contact. She actually believes SMS’s are the best means of breaking up;  no bones broken, no chance for emotional outburst, tears or negotiations. According to her if it is done in person and a nice way it hurts even more and rubs her the wrong way.

I don’t know about you but I would rather he tells it to my face so I can know exactly what went wrong and there is a chance of being friends again. But this woudl put you at the receiving end of those lame lines that dude use to break up that just strike all the raw nerves in you. Killer lines like;  Its not you it’s me,  you are amazing but not what am looking, am going to school in Antarctica, I think we moved too fast or worse still my family does not like you  and the likes.

Such are words that can make you go crazy,make you scream or cry.They drive some women to burn a man’s  clothes, trash his car, or in extreme cases cut off his goods because not only don’t they make any sense, they are just insensitive.

 So on second thought—perhaps a disappearing act isn’t so bad after all atleast you avoid being out rightly dumped. What do you think?

chaxtine@yahoo.com