coming on too strongly
By Christine Chacha
We are having lunch and a colleague’s phone rings, he look at it and puts it on silent, he ignores the call and continues eating , two minutes later texts start streaming in, he still ignores. This irritates me so much, why don’t you just pick the call or answer the text and let us eat in peace? ” I ask.
“I don’t want, I can’t take it anymore, you have no idea what am going through,” he says. That sounds like there was a good story behind that statement and we were not disappointed. Over the weekend my colleague – let’s call him Jim- had gone on a date with some girl called Sasha who was now driving him crazy.
He says the woman came out too strong, flirted excessively, initiated the kiss on the first date, then she started texting and calling him, he assumed it was innocent but it got frantic and desperate and now cannot seem to stop.
This reminded me of the movie He’s just not that into you. I loved this movie because it opened the eyes of so many women. One scene that I loved was on Gigi’s obsessive behavior, she was a desperate lonely woman in need of a relationship. This makes her needy; she drives men away because she comes out too strong.
Gigi goes on dates with huge expectation, she takes a I had a great time, Let’s do it again or I will call you as a sign of a relationship starting. When it does not happen she becomes frantic, confused, she mans her cell phone, calls or texts uncontrollably.
Sadly Gigi is not alone, most women are like her, where you meet a man and set your expectations so high and try so hard to make it happen. When things don’t go as planned you get desperate before you know it, you are a psycho Gigi in the making
When you first start dating someone, it’s important to keep that element of the chase going for as long as possible. Most guys want and need to feel like they are pursuing you, at least for a little while. Despite the fact that we are in a time and era where women can hit on men , it’s important not to tip your hand and come on too strong.
Men are just as perceptive as we are and there are a few tell-tale signs of overt interest we’re frequently guilty of giving which annoy them. Infact My pal Davie told me that there is nothing men hates than a woman who comes too strong, men just don’t like being chased; they would rather do the chasing.
So how do you know you are coming too strong?
A harmless I had a great time or innocuous thank seem appropriate but truth be told, the follow-up text is loaded with intel. You may think last night’s date went swimmingly, but how do you really know? The only way for you to be sure that he wants to see you again is to wait for the follow-up text FROM him. It’s a clear sign of interest. Don’t beat him to the punch because he knows the drill too well. If he likes you, he will want to text you.
Maybe you are techno savy, you just started going out with a guy and you are now all over him. You track him down on every social networking Facebook, twitter, tagged and every other place you can find him. You comment on his every Facebook status, post stuff on his walls, fill messages in his inbox, track him down on every chat room, pokes. Suddenly the dude feels overwhelmed, you are stalking him. The reason you are stalking this man does not disguise the fact that you are, without a doubt, coming on too strong. If he’s someone you’ve only been out with a handful of times he will suddenly have the urge to de-friend you and your all seeing eye.
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