Frenemies

By Christine Chacha

You love her but sometimes you hate her. The two of you probably have a history dating way back to kindergarten. She is an inspiration to you but sometimes she is an enemy who makes your life look like  a joke; she is your frenemy (friend and enemy).

Am sure you have at one point had such a friend an all the way back to kindergarten’s friend who even at such an early stage in life was always faster, superior and stronger through the acid. She’s a super bitch (SB) but you still love her like a sister. You both shop at the same place but you can never compete with her sense of style.If by any chance you both wear a trend that is in vogue, somehow she look better in it.

You are happy to be dating a loaded guy  only to discover that her new catch is mogul or billionaire of some sort. You look forward to hanging out with her at the party but is a bittersweet feeling, that nagging anticipation of getting beaten again. She can even turn a friendly catch-up at the bar into a gladiatorial contest, a clash of livers if not wit.

 We all have one and mine popped up last week. She surprised me by announcing her wedding date then asking me to be her best maid. Although Leila and I have always been birds of a feather grew and schooled up together, we have issues that even I cannot comprehend. She is a friend who I can say I both love and hate.

If you are a fan of television TV series, there is one called gossip girls that I fancy a lot. In the series 2 friends Serena and Blair have a relationship that is quite similar to the one I share with Leila. Although the two vow to be BFF’s, they are always competing with each other. None wants to lag behind in terms of fashion, relationship and being in social circles. They both struggles to be the best at all cost sometimes jeopardizing their friendship. The strange thing is that they always kiss and make up despite all somehow this is what draws them together, they are sworn frenemies

This is the typical scenarios in most friendships; despite loving our friends most of us find ourselves in a situation where you have a love-hate feeling for a friend. Take my case, Leila has a job that pays her a fortune, she has just finished her masters , already has a cute baby and is now announcing her wedding  at just 25!!!. Honestly I was happy for her but when I compared my situation to hers I have to confess jealousy and hatred could not be avoided. I bet she just wanted me to know the development in her life as a friend but it appears like a gloating session.

Not only was she, prettier, more charming than me but she was also smarter and better than me even at  school. While I loved her, there were times I found myself wishing I could beat her at something. You see the thing is there is a fine line between pleasure and pain when your best friend is better than you in everything

Don’t get me wrong, am not an averse to friendships but relationship is one area that I thought I could beat her. I was always the sane one, when it came to relationships; while she had a string of broken relationship I had my one faithful guy through the years. It was at that moment-with sirens blaring in my head- that I realized that my best friend was always going to beat me at everything.

What do you do with such a friend after all? One who seems to always have an upper hand in everything, always better than you in everything? It’s like things out to their advantage. Knowing her and being around her is a subtle mix of pleasure and pain; it’s a fix that you can’t get enough of. But being the friend of an frenemy brings a plethora of perks you would have never otherwise enjoyed. Want to meet up with hot single men? hang out with her aka man-magnet. Want to visit Zanzibar and you have no cash? She is the cash cow and you are her support crew, she will pay for everything.

On a more beneficial note she will challenge you to be on toes at all time, she might make you feel bad about your life that you work hard to ensure the defeat gap is not too wide. Like Blair and Serena, you work harder to ensure she does not beat you every day. There is another glimmer of hope, she probably sucks at something, it might be only one thing but that count for something.  

chaxtine@yahoo.com