dating vs profession

By Christine Chacha

Life is just too full of surprise, just when you think you have seen it all, something even more  bizzare hits you. I ran into an old friend other day and the usual questions came up; what are you up to? Where are you? Where do you work? Single? Kids? Etc etc. having answered all her nosy questions, it was her turn to surprise me.

“Actually am married with a kid,” she said, this came as a surprise “Who’s the lucky guy and what does he do? I asked.

“His name is john and he is a kindergarten teacher,” She answered. Well this came as a surprise because I remember Laura went to medical school. Her marrying a teacher just doesn’t seem right. I don’t consider myself judgmental but this one just doesn’t fit; a doctor and a  teacher?? Turns out am not the only one who was surprised at her choice; this unlikely reunion surprised everyone.

This got me thinking does what a man do for a living really matter when it comes to dating?

While some people care for naught but love, and ability to provide for the family, the wise ones know that a man’s profession does matter when it comes to settling down.Dating alone is complicated enough; It’s about two people finding a common ground and when the differences are many they spilt. So it is not uncommon that most people will date based on common interest.

Let’s not forget social status, although they will not admit it people also accept/reject someone based on the social status (job) has. i.e. a banker will not marry/date a house help. Forget the exceptions we are talking about the rule here. Say what would a janitor and lawyer have in common, what would they talk about? It’s a very unlikely union.

Most professional women especially those with masters and PHD’s are guilty of prejudice about a man’s job and education. It’s hard for them to even think about dating someone who didn't go to college, let alone have a graduate degree, and don't have a white-collar job. Who can blame them, contrary to most peoples belief it isn't about money, not at all, it’s about having someone who has the same world view or outlook at things.

If you ask me i think it matters, because a person's job tells you about that person, I mean they have that job for a reason. They either enjoy what they do, so that tells you what kind of stuff they like, or they want money, which tells you what their priorities are in life. Everything about a person tells you something. Of course sometimes you work in the profession that you are in because you have to. So, I won't hold it against those who work as bar men, janitors, bus conductors etc but it would make me think twice before going out on a date with them.(no offence)

My pal Noela has a long list of people she would not want to date based on the prejudices associated to them. Accountants are thought to stingy and boring , lawyers think they are always right, doctors are too consumed with their work to have a meaningful relationship, journalist are promiscuous and the list goes on and on. Some would never date someone in their own profession because it could spark competition, others would not date a man with lower education qualifications that them.

The only problem I would have is with someone who didn't have a job” says my pal Esther.According to her as long as someone is making an honest living their job should not matter. Somehow we all feel the same was no none wants to date someone that you are  going to take care of .Its no rocket science that LOVE does NOT pay the bills

Preferences aside I think we can reach a consensus on this whole profession debate , it’s clear that all women want  their men to have a steady job and some ambition...We all like a man with goals and a good work ethic. Unfortunately it DOES matter what the profession is.

chaxtine@yahoo.com