physical vs emotional cheating

By Christine Chacha.
As a woman, you will find yourself answering SOS calls from your friends so many times, you cannot keep track. Some as trivial as  “I don’t know what to wear for my date tomorrow” or as serious as “I am in love with a married man”. Somehow we all get through those moments thanks to the support of our friends. But sometimes you have no idea what to tell a friend when they are doing something that you feel is not right.
It started out innocently enough, Ben and Ann were colleagues at work, they were in the same department and sat close to each other. What started out as a hello in the corridors and simple smile on the streets soon turned into something more sinister.
They are spotted everywhere together, share silent talks, IM each other in the office and laugh at each other jokes. When Ben’s mother passed, Ann was the first to know and she was there to comfort him and help him get through that. Similarly when was in a financial crisis, Ben was the first to know and he came to her rescue.
But there is something gravely wrong with this picture, Ben is already in a relationship with someone else but is now in the middle of an intense emotional affair. He is having an emotional affair with Ann, not only does he feel that they connect, he prefers her company to his girlfriends
So when he came knocking on my door complaining that he had been dumped, I thought he deserved it. “But I did not cheat, It’s not like I was sleeping with Anne we were just good friends” he said adding that he thinks his girlfriend was overreacting.

When asked why he is close with Anne and not his girlfriend his defense is they are not sleeping together. “We just have a connection, she understands me, I feel like I can tell her anything,” he says.
“But that is cheating and it’s wrong all the same, how would you feel if your girlfriend did the same to you?” I ask and am appalled when he says he does not consider it as bad as if he had actually slept with Anne.

According to him emotionally cheating is not as bad as the actual physical cheating.Somehow I feel the girlfriends pain and anger, having a man who runs to the arms of another woman when he needs someone to listen to, whom he shares his dreams and concerns with and comes home to you is worse than having one who has a few under-the-cover tryst that stop at just that.Now I know why some women take their men back despite the number of times they cheat on them.

Emotional infidelity hurts more because a woman invests heavily in the emotional aspects of the relationship. Despite the fact that they know that their men are visual being they are at peace knowing that they share a special emotional connection (bond) with their men,they feel safe with that. That is why it’s more hurtful to a woman when her man finds someone else whose personality he enjoys more, whose comapny he cherishes or whom he pours his hert out to . She often sees this as a sign that she no longer is interesting to him and that she is not fulfilling his emotional needs. The sad truth is that in the end an emotionally cheating man is likely to leave you for the other woman who fulfils his emotional needs.

You may argue that emotional infidelity doesn't necessarily break marriage vows, lead to unwanted pregnancies, or spread physical diseases. But, emotional infidelity can be as devastating to a relationship as physical intimacy or unfaithfulness because it hurts deeper.

But the fact remains that whichever way you look at it, cheating is cheating but one is worse than the other. ? Infidelity is wrong regardless of the type, but maybe it’s safe to say that cheating on your partner by falling in love is way more damaging than sex.
What do you think?

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