E-venge

By Christine chacha

Today I found myself talking about an uncomfortable topic that I am always keen on avoiding . “Would you take back you ex? Or would you be friends with him?” a friend asked me. These questions opened wounds than have long been buried and I found myself bitter and angry again, hating my ex all over again for what he did to me. I wish I could get rid of the pain that I feel or at least get back at him somehow.  Unlike other people who break up, heal, befriend and still crave for their ex, there is a whole lot of us who experienced a ugly break ups that memories of our exes strike all the wrong nerves. 

“I wouldn’t take him back, wouldn’t love to meet him or even think about him,” I answered .She was not shocked at my answer and went on to tell me that most people feel hatred for their exes because they bottle up their hatred and pain instead of doing something about it. Most people advice you to let go or forgive and forget but how practical is this?? According to her getting even with an ex is the best way to forgive u get back at them? Her words seemed to make sense; has someone ever pissed you off and the only relief you can get is if you get even with them? well this is kinda teh same case..

When a relationship ends in peace, you usually give the guy his stuff back- CDs, books and the awkward boxers he left at your place, you may or may not become friends but atleast your spirit is at peace. If it ended badly, thre might be instances of name calling,destroying is property and the likes. Most of us are  alittle shy when it comes to airing his dirty laundry in public because it somehow reflcts badly on us.
. Unless of course you have a little computer savvy,  sharp tongue and a scandal juicy enough  to slander his name and comfort your ego. After all nothing eases a broken heart quite like vengeance and it gets even better with a little fame thrown to it. Revenge can be a dish best served cold, but these days it can also be a dish best served anonymously and electronically.

Gone are the days when setting his clothes on fire, smashing his car or sleeping with his best friend were the only way to get even with a man. After all ending up in court answering to a crime of passion is not very cool neither is sleeping with his best-friend. Hitting a man where it hurts most is the best way of revenge. A man s reputation is all he’s got, he will guard it with all he’s got, it’s the safest thing to attack-it does you no harm. He might buy new clothes, repair his car and make up with his friend but it will take a while to get his reputation in place.

Using the Internet or other electronic means to get personal revenge is not a new concept, but E-venge have become even easier to achieve with the advent of social networking websites and video hosting services. An embarrassing or humiliating video featuring a cheating spouse, for example, can literally be uploaded to a YouTube-style hosting site within minutes. A mass email  detailing a person's unethical behavior can be composed and sent directly to hundreds of Internet subscribers instantly.

Online vengeance sites are showing that revenge can indeed be sweet –but if you are on the receiving end it it’s a real bitch. When my pal Lisa was dumped by her boyfriend last year, the results were, umm , theatrical. The ditched drama queen posted some of the most vitriolic videos and comments of her ex-guy on the famous social network Facebook.

The two had the juiciest scandal on Facebook, calling each other names and airing their most intimate issues on Facebook, it was one ugly mess that he-the boyfriend- had to deactivate his account after she posted that he was ill in bed and not well endowed. I thought she hit below the belt but she is happy now because she got her e-venge on the guy.

Celebrities have been known to do this all the time, ever wondered why every time a celebrity couple breaks up somehow a sex tape or some scandalous pictures surface?? With the world as the stage they make sure they expose as much as possible, shame and taint reputation to the maximum.

The ex- effect

Tired of being dumped by losers who only want to use you? One US blogger created a blog called ‘ex-girlfriends revenge’ with the title hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Although she does not name the men, she does post their pictures and this is one bitter lady. She exposes some of the men who have treated her bad and shames them. But the most popular website would be dontdatehimgirl.com where women can anonymously post names pictures, names and addresses of their ex. The website names and shames thousand of men. So if a man messes up with you all you have to do is shame him in such a website and with today’s technology all you have to do to make it public is share a link of your post to all his friends or tag all your friends .

Thanks to technology revenge has never been easier-at the click of a button-  and you have a platform to share with the world what a jerk your man is/was.  Pros - it warns other women out there, it makes you feel better and you get advice from women in similar situations. Cons - it can ruin the man's reputation and cause pain not only to your dirt bag ex, but to you, too, the choice is yours. I think teh choice is rather obvious

 chaxtine@yahoo.com