unfaitfulness and money

By Christine Chacha

An adage known to all of us is that when in a relationship, money matters are sacrilege; hardly talked about and best left alone.  This is because finances have been hailed as the number 3 cause of break ups in relationships; when it comes to money not even love can prevail. A couple is often happy until finances do them apart. It is no wonder there are so many secret accounts among married couples; Money can’t buy you love, but it sure can bring lots of problems and even tear it apart.

This has been reinforced by a study by Cornell University shedding light on the whole infidelity issue. According to the research, in long-term relationship -marriage or cohabitation-, income difference between the couple increases the likelihood of infidelity.

 This was not lost even to our fore-mothers (no pun intended) they had to deal with their cheating husbands because they were financially dependent on them. If they complained or tried to run back to their homes, they would be faced with a harsh reaction from the elders. “Does he provide for the children? Does he feed you? Does he put a roof over your head? If the answer to these questions was a yes, they would b forced to go back. Poverty, infidelity and cruelty from their men, is what they endured for year until the Beijing conference.

They envisioned a different life for their daughters; a life where they would be independent and not rely on a man’s money. Women zealously pursued education, careers and financial security with a hope thing would be different but boy were they wrong. It seems women cannot be saved from the cruel world of infidelity because according to the study whether you are rich or poor your man is bound to cheat on you.
According to the study, men who earn less than their wives are five times more likely to cheat on them. This is in an "attempt to compensate for the feelings of inadequacy" due to the loss of the traditionally male "breadwinner" status. I bet those of you who thought not disclosing your pay-slip to your man is financial infidelity can think twice; it would be damning to his ego and increase the likelihood of him cheating.

Things are no different if he still holds on to the breadwinning role, the study reiterated what we already know; men who are way richer than their women also have a higher likelihood of cheating. No rocket science here, just look around, the more loaded a guy is the more women he around. Rich men have an appalling appetite for women, no matter how faithful and beautiful their wives are, he will still cheat.

They say opposites attract but from observation this rule hardly applies when it comes to love and money issues. So women, if you want to avoid err of being cheated on, avoid being a gold-digger or being a male gold-digger's trophy prize. Perhaps when it comes to finances birds of a feather should always flock together. No wonder most people tend to date within their own income brackets: it's a lot less complicated, and as research turns out, it's a lot more monogamous.

Although the research advices that the key to a faithful relationship, is for the woman to earn 25 percent less than her man. I believe its an issue of choice because as we have seen it does not matter whether you are financially capable or not your man will cheat on you. Would you rather be financially dependent on him, where he gets to treat you badly and still cheat on you or would you rather be financially independent, have your own say in life and still be cheated on?..... Yeah I thought so :) .
The negative side of it is that according to the study, women who earn more than their men are also likely to cheat too. Well it could be a setback but who says women don’t want to have fun too?

Chaxtine@yahoo.com

                                                                                                       

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